<De Profundis and other Prison Writings> Oscar Wilde 오스카 와일드 심연으로부터 인상깊은 구절 독후감

Not that I am really alone. A slim thing, gold-haired like an angel, stands always at my side. His presence overshadows me. He moves in the gloom like a flower.
5

Every great love has its tragedy, and now ours has too, but to have known and loved you with such profound devotion, to have had you for a part of my. life, the only part I now consider beautiful, is enough for me. My passion is at a loss for words, but you can understand mem you alone. Our souls were made for one another, and by knowing yours through love, mine has transcended many evils, understood perfection, and entered into the divine essence of things.
11

Pleasure hides love from us but pain reveals it in essence.
12

You concluded your letter by satind: ‘When you are not on your pedestal you are not interesting. The enxt time you are ill I will go away at once.’
65

알프레드 더글라스 씨는 우선 너무 나쁜 사람이세요

Hate blinds people. You were not aware of that. Love can read the writing on the remotest star, but Hate so blinded you that you could see no further than the narrow, walled-in, and already lust-withered garden of you common desires.
74

With us time itself does not progress. It revolves. It seems to circle round one cnetre of pain.
89

Where there is Sorrow there is holy ground. Some day you will realise what that means. You will know nothing of life till you do.

do you think that I would have allowed you to eat your heart away in darkness and solitude without trying in some way, however slight, to help you bear the bitter burden of your disgrace? Do you think that I would not have let you know that if you suffered, I was suffering too: that if you wept, there were tears in my eyes also: and that if you lay in the house of bondage and  were despised of men, I out of my griefs had built a house in which to dwell until your coming, a treasury in which all that men had denied to you would be laid up for your healing, one hundredfold in increase?
96

오스카… he’s not worth it……..

To reject one’s own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one’s own life.
105

I long to live so that I can explore what is no less than a new world to me. Do you want to know what this new world is? I think you can guess what it is. It is the world in which I have been living.
Sorrow, then, and all that teaches one, is my new world.
108-109

Truth in Art is the unity of a thing with itself: the outward rendere expressive of the inwardL the sould made incarnate, the body instict with spirit.
110

Most people life for love and admiration. But it is by love and admiration that we should live.
124

People whose desire is solely for self-realisation never know where they are going. They can’t know.
129

We have forgotten that Water can cleanse, and Fire purify, and that the Earth is the mother to us all.
157

I waited month after month to hear from you. Even if I had not been waiting but had shut the doors against you, you should have remembered that no. one can possibly shut the doors against Love for ever.
160

The past, the present and the future are but one moment in the sight of God, in whose sight we should try to live.
160

And the sky above my head became
Like a casque of scorching steel;
And though I was a soul in pain,
My pain I could not feel.

-Ballade of Reading Gaol

작년부터 읽고 싶었는데 드디어 읽어봤다. 오스카 와일드의 내면성장 과정.. 이걸 내가 읽어도 되나 싶을 정도로 사적이면서 편지에서도 드러나는 오스카 와일드의 천재성이 너무 대단하고 알프레드 더글라스가 상상 이상의 또라이라는 사실을 알고간다.
먹는 모든 음식 호텔 여행비 다 오스카한테 지불하게 시켜서 일 년 동안 알프레드에게 쓴 돈이 5000프랑이라고… 하…
그리고 오스카는 알프레드 여행 갔다오면 기차역 마중나가고 아프면 꽃보내고 간호하고 하는데 오스카 아팠을때 알프레드는 밖에 나가서 술마시고 옴 하…………
이렇게 천재도 이런 멍청하고 무례한 사람에게 휘둘리다니.. 생각해보니 아마 알프레드 더글라스의 upper class noblety에 끌린 것 같지만 정말!!! 어떻게 2년동안 편지 한 통도 안쓰고 자신 마음대로 오스카와 주고받았던 편지 출판하겠다 하다가 오스카가 말리니까 자기엄마한테 투정부리고…
그리고 ballade of reading gaol은 그럭저럭 읽었다.
근데 정말 편지 쓰면서 어떻게든 슬픔과 고통을 승화하고 열심히 살아보려는 와일드의 의지가 느껴져서 오스카 와일드 팬이면 한 번 쯤은 꼭 읽어봐야 되는 책이라고 생각이듦